Friday, May 13, 2011

I suck at blogging...and waiting

So I have officially decided I suck at this blogging thing. I mean it's not like I have 3 kiddos 4 and under, a marriage, a household to run, a doula business and midwifery apprenticeship to manage. Not to mention trying to have a relationship with the Lord, my family, friends, and finding some time for myself in there somewhere. Time that isn't spent cleaning, in the kitchen, cleaning, playing with kids, laundry, some more cleaning and some more time in the kitchen. Did I mention I spend ALOT of time in the kitchen?! But the thing that has captured my mind, heart and time recently is a girl.

This girl is the girl we hope to call daughter soon. As most of you know (and if you don't you will now), our family recently became a licensed foster family. This has been a dream of ours since before we got married. To someday become parents to the parentless. For our home to be used for God's glory to redeem and restore the orphans. The main goal of becoming foster parents is so we can adopt, and we specifically feel called to adopt older girls, in particular african american girls age 10-17. For those of you who know us, this probably makes you laugh. I mean we are reverse oreos :) My husband claims to have grown up in the 'hood (Grandview, close but not quite hunny :p ), and I have always loved the people and have worked very closely in the culture since giving my life to the Lord. So we have always dreamed of having little black girls in our family. Well this girl, we'll call her G, is 17, so she's not so little :) Keith and I both had our eyes on her for months without knowing each other were thinking the same thing, and the Lord confirmed to us a few weeks ago we should move forward. The next day we requested her long profile, and both felt like she is the next step for our family. The following day we submitted our home study to be reviewed by her case worker to see if we can be chosen to be her adoptive family. And we are still waiting. And it is so HARD!!! I struggle to speak to soon, but we both feel like she is our daughter. We really feel the Lord has chosen her to be apart of the Carter clan. I knew waiting would be hard, but it's much harder than I ever anticipated. Especially because everyday feels like forever. To know she's out there, and feeling like she should be home with us, her family. Have any of you had experience with adopting through the foster care system? I'd love to hear your story if so! And please friends, if you can please remember us in prayer. Pray if this is our daughter, that she'd come home soon. And if it's not, that the Lord would direct us towards her. We desire the Lord's will above all, not what our "feelings" tell us is right. We know our hearts are deceptive above all things, which is one of the reasons I am struggling so much. But let's face it, I'm a woman and I'm emotional. Especially when it comes to orphans.

"Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause." Isaiah 1:17